Atonement The Great Divide
by regie27
Summary: After months of living together, former Elite Guard LT Limelda meditates on the past, the present and the challenge of living life with the burden of terrible sins weighting in on her new life. Rated M for hints of shoujoai. Madlax, Limelda


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**Atonement - The Great Divide -  
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**A Madlax fanfiction by regie27**

**Standard Disclaimers apply**

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"_I'm waiting, at the tip of atonement, I'm here..."_

I'm Here, Fiction Junction YUUKA

Limelda let out a sigh of relief as she emptied the last box of Madlax's belongings. For an agent who was constantly on the move from mission to mission, she wouldn't have guessed the amount of personal things the younger woman had managed to amass. However, when the time came to move back to her old apartment, between what they currently owned and what Three Speed had been able to recover, it was obvious they owned more that a change of clothes and some toiletries as she had previously thought. A good portion of the blonde agent's belongings were kitchen and cooking supplies and appliances, a silent testimony of how seriously Madlax could be went it came to food and especially pasta. In fact, the former soldier had learned over the months living with the agent that the girl was quite the cook and that her Fettuccini Alfredo had been the best she had ever tasted. Limelda still wondered about Madlax's employer, the mysterious Three Speed, and of the kind of power and resources he really had. It was surprising enough that he had managed to recover the girl's old place with its vantage view over Gazth-Sonika's capital city; he had also managed to seize what she had left behind inside it when she had gone on the run after the government had put her on the most wanted list. Apparently, Three Speed's organization had infiltrated the government and the military because she understood enough of governmental procedures to know that in other circumstances, both the apartment and its belongings would have remained seized and under government custody.

"I call first bids on the shower" Madlax shouted as she walked briskly towards the bathroom with a fluffy towel around her neck.

"Ow, you beat me again, you sneak! Oh well, I'll make us some tea then."

"Sounds like a plan" the girl replied with a grin as she slipped inside the bathroom.

Limelda smiled. It was quite obvious Madlax felt much more comfortable being back at her old place but she had also sensed certain subdued mood on the girl amidst the excitement of the moving. Limelda could pinpoint exactly when Madlax's expression had changed from enthusiasm to melancholy. Hours ago, they had been sorting the things from the boxes and found among the clothes and books a rather fancy looking laptop. Madlax seemed to stop abruptly upon noticing the computer and her glance lingered for the longest over it, as if her thoughts had taken her to another time and moment. The bright glimmer on her purpled hued eyes clouded with a shroud of nostalgia and grief as her attention poured over the machine. A tense moment ensued, their thoughts becoming almost audible over the sudden silence. Limelda hadn't dared to utter a word as she struggled to make sense of what was happening. Suddenly, her mind matched the clues, bringing memories of a person they had both known about a year ago. This person had been very skillful with computers and data analysis. It was the same person who had stubbornly protected the data disk that eventually came to Limelda's possession. The information that disk contained shattered her beliefs and changed her life and it had been zealously kept by the person who had died by a single bullet shot from her own pistol. The death of Vanessa René, the woman that Madlax had been protecting from Enfant and from the Gazth-Sonika authorities, was the tragedy that still hung over the two gunslingers like an invisible barrier, the event that drove an imperceptible wedge between them and kept them emotionally apart.

"I need to keep this until I can mail it back to Nafrece. I know Margaret will want to keep it and will take good care of it" Madlax muttered softly. Her features sobered as her fingers brushed over the keyboard almost reverently. Her eyes shimmered with the hint of tears about to spill over. Limelda observed Madlax, sensing the cavalcade of memories unraveling from the other as she kept her eyes fixed on the laptop. The former Elite Guard officer nodded in agreement in respectful silence, quietly leaving the girl to her own thoughts while she moved to another part of the small apartment to sort out the remainder of their belongings. The rest of the day had gone mostly uneventful but it was obvious that the weight of past memories had dampened the upbeat mood.

The teapot whistled and Limelda paused on her thoughts to tend the matter at hand. As she poured the steaming beverage over two teacups, she realized that she couldn't hear the spray of the shower anymore. Taking the cups with her, the brunette sniper walked without hesitation outside the kitchen and towards the terrace. It had taken only a quick guess to know that it should be the most likely place her roommate would be at. Just as she had imagined, Madlax was indeed at the terrace still wearing her bathrobe. Her long, dark blonde hair was slightly damp, and her arms fell relaxed over her thighs. The girl had sat down with the apparent intention of waiting on the tea while relaxing with a nice view of the city, but it seemed that she had relaxed more than she had intended to, Limelda observed with a grin, as she noticed her closed eyelids and the steady and relaxed rhythm of her breathing.

Limelda placed the two teacups on a nearby table and brought a beat up chair beside Madlax's. The afternoon breeze tousled the girl's disheveled blonde locks and the elder woman sensed the subtle clean aroma of her shampoo. The sniper let out a deep sigh as she admired her former rival in this unusual defenseless pose. A grim realization stabbed at her heart. They had been living together since they had both climbed on Limelda's jeep months ago without a clear destination or destiny on mind. It had been their instincts and current circumstances that had paired them together. They both admitted it hadn't been much of a conscious decision rather than one born out of opportunity and shared needs. They were both fugitives of the government. They were skilled, dangerous and now, armed with the truth, they were determined to do something about it, something that could somehow serve to put a stop to the endless cycle of violence that Gazth-Sonika had been sunk into for years on end. Even if their hands were to be tainted with blood again, it would be for something meaningful. It wasn't anymore for survival and to earn a living like it used to be for Madlax or ordered by her superior officers as it had been for the former Elite Guard Lieutenant. Now, it was a decision made on their own, for a cause they both believed in. As months went by, they had gotten used to live and work together, realizing along the way that there were many things that they had in common. Their new incarnations realized there were advantages of working in pairs rather than solo as they did in the past and so their temporary arrangement had slowly progressed by itself to become a more permanent one.

There had been another reason for the former Gazth-Sonika soldier to continue with their arrangement. The months that had gone by had served to confirm what Limelda had begun to suspect amidst her obsessive quest for the elusive agent. What had started as a feud to settle scores between the best warriors had evolved into something more complicated and profound for her. First, it all had begun with the reluctant admiration of a soldier towards an enemy that had bested her. The death of Guen MacNichol by Madlax's precise shot became the catalyst that fueled the quest that would consume her very own being. Each face-off just confirmed what she had quickly learned that fated day: that her foe was worth her every effort and she wouldn't allow anyone to deprive her of the pleasure of surpassing her in combat. Each confrontation just brought an inexplicable anticipation for the next, anticipation not only of the kill but of the challenge in and of itself. Along the way, Limelda sensed a tacit agreement of mutual respect between the two, the type of respect enemies have for the warrior skills' of their opponent. Respect then became admiration and gratitude for the person who had spared her life in more than one occasion, the person who had enabled her to see the truth with her own eyes. Then, the realization that rocked Limelda to the core: her feelings morphed into something unexpected and different altogether, to the emotion she feared she might never have the opportunity to express and share with the other. It was the one emotion that overwhelmed and anguished her to the point of filling several sleepless nights with uncertainty and doubt. It tortured her and almost drove her to despair because even as their paths had connected and their lives were being lived together, the past and its sins weighted heavily over Limelda's shoulders, causing a divide that seemed almost impossible to bridge.

Madlax, Limelda later learned, was the incarnation of a tragic deed committed years ago by Margaret Burton while she was still a child. More than an offspring of sin, she was created because of that sin to be its bearer, but it was a sin she wasn't guilty of because it hadn't been her who had pulled the trigger that fateful night. However, Limelda couldn't say the same because she knew was fully responsible of the blood that tainted her hands. It had been her and her hatred and jealousy that caused Vanessa René's death and it had been her hand and hers alone that had wielded the murder weapon. It didn't matter that her intended target had been Madlax and not Vanessa and that she had shot back in self-defense when she was wounded. The end result had been the same and she knew all too well that her current partner had never recovered from the loss of a woman she considered a friend and perhaps even more than that. She had seen a painful reminder of that fact again today and Limelda had been almost overcome by a dark brew of jealousy, guilt and hopelessness that aimed mercilessly at her heart as she witnessed Madlax's heartfelt grief in silence. Her emotions pulled her at opposite ends. One part of her wished to plead for forgiveness while a darker one rejoiced because she had eliminated a rival, the only person who could truly take Madlax away from her. The endless conflict menaced to drive Limelda to the depths of insanity once more, but she struggled every single day because she had made a promise that she indented to keep no matter what. She had been granted life and it had Madlax herself who had chosen her to watch over her and to be the keeper of her existence.

The ex-soldier couldn't contain the tender smile the sight of the sleeping girl brought to her face. Her mind took her back to that fateful day when they had met once more deep within the jungles of warn-torn Gazth-Sonika. Limelda was a wretch. She had been enduring days of endless travels and battles with the agent and had withstood a close brush with death after a fall and a gunshot. Her sanity had been steadily pushed to the limit. Tired of it all, she pleaded for Madlax to kill her but the girl had refused. Like a vision out of a dream, Madlax had been wearing an immaculate white dress (quite eye catching in a battlefield she noted to herself) that gave her the ethereal quality of a heavenly creature. And just like a messenger of heaven, Madlax's words made her feel as if she had been absolved of her sins and offered a new life and a new mission. Smiling, Limelda remembered how she felt the words that Madlax had said to her sounded almost like a confession. It had been right then she had realized that she had fallen in love with her former enemy, the sudden realization dissolving her dark obsession and hopelessness like a beam of light piercing into the most abject darkness. And just like that, Limelda had at last been able to wake up from her death wish and decided to atone for her past transgressions by committing herself to watch over the graceful (yet lethal) angel who saved her.

"Yes, you're indeed an angel who saved me and that's why I can't afford to lose you."

A yearning long repressed resurfaced as the sniper's dark eyes remained locked over the soft features of the dozing Madlax. The former soldier had never been one to repress her wants and needs but the delicate relationship she had with Madlax had forced her to change strategies. They lived together and they slept together when they were off on missions but not even a single embrace had been shared yet. She knew it wasn't because there was lack of mutual attraction. It was quite the opposite and sometimes the tension built between their mutual magnetism was so strong it became almost unbearable to endure. The situation had made the sniper resource to taking long walks alone until she felt in control enough to tolerate any subsequent assault on her senses and emotions. Limelda could count every single opportunity she had to approach Madlax on a more intimate level yet she opted time and again to let her rational judgment prevail over her desire. There were moments she swore she could read a slight sliver of disappointment on the girl's eyes and to this day she still wondered if Madlax expected her to make the first move.

It could be so easy now to let go and just get closer, to steal a fleeting kiss from her lovely lips and sink her hands on her lustrous golden hair. Before she realized it, she found herself leaning towards the girl. Using the reserve of her resolve, she managed to restrain herself. She wanted her yet she didn't want it to be this way. When and if it were to happen, it would have to be voluntary and mutual. Limelda knew she would hate herself if because of a rushed choice, she would end up pushing Madlax away from her and the mere thought of it was bad enough to put a lid to any attempt on her part and to strengthen her resolve. Running a hand through her long, raven-colored hair, Limelda pulled back as a sigh escaped her lips.

"I will wait for you, Madlax."

"Is there something you wish to tell me, Limelda? You've been watching me for some time now." To the former sniper's shock, Madlax's eyes opened up with a slight impish glimmer and her lips curved into a small smile. Limelda felt heat rushing to her face, something she wasn't at all accustomed to after years of training to be in fully control of her actions and emotions on the battlefield. How is it that this girl could put her senses and emotions in disarray with just a glance or a smile was something she couldn't still understand, but at least she had managed to get used to it somewhat better now.

"I thought you were sleeping" the former Elite Guard sniper replied as she picked up her teacup and sipped some of the liquid. It was lukewarm. For how long had she been watching the girl and since when she'd noticed her insistent glimpses?

"I wasn't but it was amusing to see you so thoughtful. You murmured something. What was it?" Madlax sat up as she brought the cup of tea to her lips. "Hmm, it tastes really good but it's cold." Madlax's glance came over the former soldier's face again in quiet expectation and gentle demand.

Limelda felt another sudden rush of warm blood over her cheeks. Would she dare to say what she wished to say out loud but didn't dare to?

"I was just thinking how beautiful you are" Limelda said. No, she wasn't ready to confess the truth. Not now. Not yet.

"You think so?" Madlax asked after stifling a yawn while putting the tea down.

"It seems someone hasn't looked at herself on the mirror lately."

"I do every morning when I brush my teeth you know" the blonde replied with false innocence as she carefully observed the reactions on the other woman.

"That's not what I meant. Gah, forget what I said" replied Limelda with an exasperated tone.

"I know exactly what you meant. Besides, I wonder if you have done the same. I must say your looks have improved very much since you left that boring military garb behind. Plainclothes suit you much better. You don't look so scary anymore" the girl commented with a wink.

Limelda's thoughts stopped dead on its tracks. Did she really mean that she found her beautiful?

"So, you found me scary before. I'm glad I'm not that scary anymore."

"No, not really. Not so much anyway" a grinning Madlax added.

"Hum, I'd better take that as a compliment" Limelda said arching an eyebrow.

"It is a compliment you silly. And yes, you are also beautiful. Believe me, you should see how many people stop to peek back at you when we walk on the street."

"I would have sworn that was because of you" said the brunette, enjoying their friendly banter.

"Well, what can I say? We do make an attractive pair, don't you think?"

"And don't forget deadly."

"Yeah, that too, but I think I'm liking attractive better."

"Well, I'll make us more tea while you keep enjoying your new status as the most attractive agent of all Gazth-Sonika. Mine got cold while I thought you were out cold."

"You need to improve on your retorts Limelda. That was awful."

"Well, I'm glad that at least my tea and my looks are up your standards Madlax" Limelda snapped back while she walked away, leaving a chuckling Madlax behind.

As she prepared the second round of the soothing beverage, Limelda felt glad the melancholic mood had dissipated. In fact, little by little, their relationship had been filling up with more moments like this when they felt comfortable enough that they could just drop down their defenses and enjoy each other's company. It would take some time, but as the saying went, time heals all wounds. Perhaps, in time, they could somehow manage to learn to live with the mistakes of the past while hoping for a better present and future for the too of them.

With that thought in mind, Limelda poured their tea and prepared to return to the terrace when she suddenly sensed Madlax behind her. The former lieutenant spun around on her heels just to find the blonde girl standing right in front of her. Her face sported a small smile but her lavender eyes had an inscrutable expression.

"Is everything okay Madlax?"

Without any words, Madlax simply leaned forward and placed a feathery kiss over a very surprised Limelda's lips. Limelda almost dropped the teacups from the shock as she sensed the blonde's lips linger softly and warmly over hers for the longest. As the girl moved away, the sniper blinked several times in utter disbelief. Did Madlax just…? Limelda felt her knees weaken from the surprise and the emotion.

"Everything is okay Limelda." Madlax said with a soft and reassuring tone. "I just wanted to convey my gratitude for all you've done and for taking care of me all this time. I know there are many things that need to be resolved between us but I want you to always remember that I hold dear to my heart the fact that you accepted my petition without second thoughts. I am here partly because of you, because you hold a piece of me inside yourself."

"Madlax…" uttered Limelda almost breathlessly.

"I want you to understand that I cannot offer any guarantees of what will eventually come between us in the future and I know I need to sort out my own feelings before making up my mind on anything. I know you have strong feelings for me. I haven't been oblivious to that, you know. I honestly felt the need to do this, that I could at least give you this much as a way to demonstrate my feelings."

Limelda put the teacups on the kitchen counter. One hand rose to brush Madlax's tousled bangs.

"I understand. I cannot pretend you to correspond to my feelings after all I've done. I wish I could undo what I did, I truly do."

"We all have things we regret we did but we can't do anything about them. We can only hope to do better in the future. I can't judge what you did or why you did it because I'm guilty too of taking lives. I too killed many people who were somebody's loved one and no matter what I do, I can never bring them back to life. I can only learn to live with my responsibility and to accept my sins. We are both sinners Limelda Jorg, but perhaps that's why we can understand each other."

Limelda nodded. There were so many things she wished Madlax could tell her, what she really felt about the fact that she was Vanessa's killer, what she felt about her, their relationship, but she understood that it was still too early to lay those cards on the table. They were making progress and Limelda understood that the possibility existed that they would eventually have to part their separate ways. For now, she would treasure this moment, for she could not tell if it would be repeated. Still, perhaps if she would allow her just one more kiss…

"I understand. I just have one more favor to ask…" Limelda murmured hesitantly.

Madlax gave Limelda a suspicious look. It seemed she had been able to read the other's thoughts even before she had been able to voice them over out loud. Crossing her arms over her chest, she replied with a tone with the slightest hint of annoyance:

"Alright, one more, but it better be brief because I don't want to have to drink yet another cup of cold tea" Madlax replied, the sly grin replacing her former more serious expression.

"You mean it?"

"Hurry up before I change my mind."

"If you don't want to, I will not force the issue upon you."

"Oh, just get over with it, would you?" the girl commented raising her hands in resignation.

It was now Limelda's turn to smile. Maybe she wasn't the only one who wanted repeats after all and Limelda intended for her not to regret it.

"As you wish, but don't tell me I didn't warned you."

"Warn me, of what?"

Limelda approached Madlax with a suggestive smile. "You might end not minding having your tea getting cold after all."

_-Fin-_

**_AN:_**

I don't have much to say except that many of the ideas exposed here are courtesy of my beta-reader and friend Carrie. If you liked the story and its conclusion, you should thank her then.

This is my first official foray into the shoujo-ai realms. It was a bit scary but it was also surprisingly fun to write. I hope the end result wasn't half bad.

Till the next one! ;)


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